You’re tired of feeling like you’re crazy.
It’s like you can never nail down the truth.
“I didn’t say that. You’re being ridiculous.” “Wow, you’re tracking my location? So, what you’re telling me is that you’re paranoid, and you don’t trust me, is that right?” “I can’t take you to the work event. You embarrass me, just like your dad warned me about.” “I work late because I’m trying to provide this life for you. You’re so ungrateful and selfish.” “I should have known that you would turn into your mom.”
And then later, when you’re alone, your thoughts sound like this:
When did this relationship turn into such a nightmare? What am I doing wrong? How am I supposed to fix this? I knew that we weren’t doing great, but this is like, so much. And we have good days, too, so I don’t get it. It’s so confusing, and how could he say that to me? He knows how badly that hurts me to compare me to my mom. Why would someone who loves me say that if it’s not true? Oh god, is he right? Am I turned into my mother?
Sound like you?
Confusion
Depleted
Nostalgic
Human Airplane Mode
Therapy can help you sort out what’s really going on here.
Here’s what we’ll do together
In 2022, gaslighting was deemed “word of the year.” I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase. I’m sure you are curious about it, because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be looking at my website. There’s a difference between gaslighting and lying, and gaslighting and arguing. Gaslighting is when the person antagonizing you is denying your reality, and then attacks you. It’s not just - “nope, I didn’t spend $30 on gas”, it’s “Nope, I didn’t spend $30 on gas. I didn’t realize I was living in a police state where you’re going to monitor my every move like a dictator.”
Wait, WTF? What just happened here? I’m just trying to balance the bank account. Am I being invasive? Should I just not ask? Is that too controlling?
And there it is, now you’re not talking about gas money and you’re worrying about your relationship. And you still don’t have an answer about the money!
In therapy, we will work to learn how this happens, why its so easy to get sucked into, and how you can handle it. Or leave it, if that’s what you want.
At the end of the day, I want you to know:
You are not crazy or stupid, and how you want to handle it is totally up to you.
You deserve relationships that are fulfilling and a source of safety.
Imagine a life where…
