“What can Jean Val Jean teach us about love and parenting?”

Musicals have always been in my blood and marrow. I watched so much of life finally make sense in musicals. My absolute favorite musical as a child was Les Miserables (and we can get into all the reasons why that is problematic another time ).

One of the songs that I loved even then but couldn’t understand was the song “Bring Him Home” sung by Jean Val Jean, a man who has always been running from his past. He’s singing about his pseudo son-in-law, Marius, a french-revolutionary soldier, who’s about to be called up and who his daughter had essentially just fallen in love with. Talk about a soap opera. 

Link to Video below

In the song, Jean is also about to join the battle (again, revolution, not necessarily called in), and is pleading with God to let him die instead of Marius, if in fact someone would have to die in that fight. 

The first verse of the song is, “God on high, hear my prayer. In my need, you have always been there. He is young, he’s afraid, let him rest, heaven blessed. Bring him home, bring him home bring him home.” 

This initial verse is haunting, to say the least, as the actor sings it. And yet, the second verse is even more haunting, if you can believe it.

“He’s like the son I might have known, if God had granted me a son. The summers die one by one, how soon they fly on and on. And I am old, and will be gone. Bring him peace, bring him joy, he is young, he is only a boy. You can take, you can give, let him be, let him live. If I die, let me die, let him live. Let him live. Bring him home.”

Whew. Honestly, crushing, every time I hear it. The air goes out of my lungs and my heart folds in on itself, almost. Like a paper bag of grief and fear, right?I ask myself, how can a parent even hear that? What do they feel? I can’t even imagine, I am not a parent biologically, and by scientific standards, I’m an aunt. 

And yet, this song lands in my bonessss because I look around and see myself and all the other adults around me praying this over the next generation constantly, especially today in this administration. We wring our hands as we beg the universe, “Please please please let them survive this. Take me if you have to, but leave them alone. We’re begging you.”

Now look, I can’t speak for every adult. But I will speak for most Millenials and Gen Xer’s, we do not want these modern perils the US government has instilled in our system and inflicted on our souls. It matters in therapy because it shows up every day in therapy. I talk about these issues. Every. Dang. Day. In every session, with every client. 

A generational theft and grift has been happening since we were children and we know it. We don’t even want to argue about it anymore, we know it to be true. And we have been doing the work to know ourselves well enough so we can get out of this mess, and even get out of the way, when needed.

So, what can Jean Val Jean teach us about love and parenting? He teaches us that after we know something to be true, that Marius is in essence his son, he acts like it. The next part of the story is that Jean Val Jean does in fact find Marius, wounded, and carries him out of the battle. 

In the small way Jean can contribute, he does. He in essence becomes the answer to his own prayer. He asked God for God to bring Marius home, and then Jean makes himself available to have that prayer be answered.

If you know something is true, make yourself available for it. Ask if you can particpate in what you and the world needs. 

We learn here that love is the answer, time and again. We see here that love shows up and makes itself available. We see love in prayer to Jean’s god, and then we see love in action when Jean shows up to make himself available. 

You want to show love? Show up and be available. 

You want to be a parent, regardless of your DNA status? Or maybe even reparent yourself? Just show up babe. 

Practice showing up and making yourself available.

No answers needed, just practice. 

You practiced so many things growing up, you can learn how to do this, too. 

That’s basically all Marius needed here, and that’s really all most people need in most cases.

When you are asked to act, act. 

When your god or your universal knowing or your spirit guide asks you to show up, practice showing up.

And then when your intuition says she needs you to move, you move. 

Love makes itself available by showing up for the hard and scary parts that it may not feel prepared for.

Hell, Jean Val Jean says to himself that he’s old!
It doesn’t stop him. This old man doesn't know when to quit (they never do, do they?).

Don’t let it scare you into quitting either. 

Forget the meaning of the word quit if you have to. 

They need us. Practice showing up,

practice showing love.